Monday, October 19, 2009

Mourning growing up...

It has been a very long time since I last posted. We are still living in Kaufman while our house is being remodeled, so no pictures. We are hoping to move in November 1st! PRAY!!!! My b-day is November 3rd, and that is all I want.

Anyways, I have been a little sad lately, mourning the inevitable process of my daughter growing up. I know God gives us children to slowly enable them to become independent of their parents and dependent on God, but it stinks. So, a week and a half ago, Raylee began biting me while breastfeeding. As I thought I was getting it under control, my body decided to come down with mastitis (an infection) and stop producing enough milk. I am a huge believer in breast feeding, and I wanted to make it to a year. However, Raylee just hasn't been getting enough, so we have had to start supplementing with formula. I know it isn't the end of the world, and I can keep nursing in the mornings and before bed, but I am a little forlorn thinking of her growing up and not needing me anymore. This feeling of sadness and neediness is probably confounded by the fact that I am a little bored and dissatisfied with living in limbo (without a home...although I am grateful for my in-laws hospitality!) However, I know there will be many instances where I have to give Raylee her independence. I am dreading the first day of Kindergarten...AH!!! So I guess I thought I would slough off my sadness with this post, and try to cherish everyday I have with her. I truly do love each new stage...but you can't help but look back and miss the newborn stages as well.

Proverbs 22: 6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."